The Night I Met the “Golden Man”: Edward Snyder on Finding Geoffrey — and a Lifetime Together

Feb 18
3 min read

I am the guy that relentlessly pursued Geoffrey that hot August night in a Washington, D.C. leather bar in 1975. As Geoffrey writes in his book, Better to Cry Now, his intention was to introduce me to his friend, Brandon, at Brandon’s request. What he doesn’t say in the book is that it was my intention to introduce myself to Geoffrey. In the book, Geoffrey says, “I eventually got the message: I was Ed’s target, not my friend or anyone else.”

This is what happened. I was sitting alone in the bar, watching the crowd, nursing a beer, and not feeling very hopeful about the evening ending any other way than just going home alone. The crowd was celebrating “Christmas in August”, with a man dressed as Santa Claus who was handing out gifts to the regulars. On the periphery of the crowd stood Geoffrey and Brandon,, watching the activities. Geoffrey was standing under one of the lights in the track lighting system, that created something of a glow around him. When I saw that handsome face, that beautiful smile, and the warmth with which he treated his friend, I remember saying, out loud, “Oh my God, is he for real?” There was no stopping me. I was not thinking about how I was going to approach him, introduce myself, and get to know him, I just knew I had to move. So, I rose from my seat and started walking towards him. As I got closer, I realized I couldn’t think of a thing to say. Every thought of an opening line sounded canned, and empty. But I couldn’t take my eyes off him. So, I walked up to where he was standing, put on my best smile, and…., kept walking! I felt so unprepared to meet this guy. I ended up moving past him, and sanding almost in front of Santa Claus, pretending to watch the festivities, and afraid of turning around to look at this beautiful man again. I was frozen in place and felt so foolish. Then, suddenly, right in front of my face, there appeared a movie-star-like visage, with the most beautiful smile of Hollywood teeth, bright penetrating eyes and a beautiful voice, saying to me, “Hi, what’s your name?” I must have said something, because he then said, “I’m Geoff, and I want to introduce you to someone”. Again, I must have said something, because the next thing I knew, I was standing in front of Brandon, and shaking his hand.

Now, Brandon was a very impressive presence. He was older (which meant he was in his thirties) and seemed reserved and sophisticated. But Geoffrey was all smiles and cheer, and, he was “the golden man from the track lighting’s effect”, and I was totally focused on him.

As Geoffrey describes in the book, it took the entire evening to accomplish, but I somehow managed to keep his attention, and we slowly got to know each other in that fasted-paced, yet deeply meaningful way that two people can meet who have an obvious and deep connection. Soul mates! As Geoff describes, he and I fell madly and passionately in love that evening, and within a week, I had moved into his Silver Spring apartment.

I was unemployed having recently graduated from the University of Notre Dame, and was looking for a job with the Department of Energy’s Division of Solar Energy. Although I had not yet secured that position, I paid the August rent from my savings, because there was no question in my mind that I intended to spend the rest of my life with this guy. We told ourselves that no matter what life throws at us, we would always have each other. No matter what, no one can take that away from us. And now, after almost 51 years together, we have realized how lucky we were to find each other.

So, the “golden man from the track lighting’s effect” and I have had track lighting installed in every one of the four apartments and three houses in which we lived, in all those 51 years.